Before heading to Germany for my professional practice I decided I needed to get a first draft of my script finished, I was honestly quite annoyed it had taken that long. I managed to get a first draft that at the time I was fairly happy with but recognised it would need feedback and improvement, I sent my script off to be reviewed by Clifton Stewart but was unable to receive proper feedback until yesterday.
Aswell as this I decided I wanted to allow my fellow students to cast their judgement on my script so I handed it in to be photocopied this morning (all be it the copy which had some notes from Clifton’s critique) as I wanted to get feedback from those in the same situation, fortunately this gave me a chance to see other people’s scripts as well. I also gave a copy to Laura Meades (without notes) to have a read through.
I dont know how to feel but all 3 groups mostly picked up on the same problems, Problem #1 being the ending. They all felt like it lacked ‘a punch’ a reason for the audience to care, I had to sadly say that I agreed with this, There were several suggestions of ways to improve this, some being that instead of the money going from fairly secure sources they should come from less secure sources such as remorgating the house to gain the money or emotional sources such as selling an engagement ring. There was however, another suggestion which also solved problem #2 which was lead characters motivation, but I would like to leave this from my blog until I have wrote my next draft to see if it will work for myself.
Other criticisms about my script were that it was too rigid, improperly formatted and a couple of characters were too one dimensional, again I found it hard to disagree with these points but knew they were part of my weaknesses in scriptwriting (hence the need for feedback)
My main concern is that I should have done this sooner and hopefully won’t need to drastically alter too much, I have started the casting stage of this piece and I am due to hold auditions soon, I will be posting another blog in the next few days updating progress in that area.
but for now I have taken the feedback I have been given and will draft my new script, I’m hoping that this will solve most (unlikely to be all) of the problems from the first draft that I shown.
[PICTURES TO FOLLOW OF CRITIQUE AND SCRIPT]